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Old 01-22-2013, 12:24 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,850

G.S.A - I feel your pain.

I have had a miscarriage with my husband (11 years ago) and with my boyfriend (almost 2 years ago). My pregnancy with my boyfriend was not an accident but it WAS unexpected (it was a hoped for but tiny possibility).

I still have waves of sadness and pain from these losses. Whenever one of our friends or family members becomes pregnant it brings back all of these feelings - then, in addition to my sadness, I get to suffer the guilt of resenting the fact that they can have babies and I can't. I can only imagine how much harder it is when the pregnant woman is someone you are close to and see all of the time. (I imagine you feel like you should be sharing all of her little joys and excitement but that your sadness at your loss is holding you back, and you feel guilty for this - I would. But you are not me.)

Do you have other children? (I don't...which adds, I think, to some of my specific feelings).

I think it does get easier, in some ways, over time. But the loss is always there. I'm sorry I don't have any magic to make it better for you.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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