We haven't talked about all that. Thanks for bringing it up. My husband just gets uncomfortable when I bring up almost anything... I did ask him once "how about if I don't come back?" He just said well, you will have to take the chance or just not have sex... He says he can't guarantee that we will EVER have sex.
I did finally have casual sex with a hookup I had. We had sex 2 times. I was hoping that it would last more but I don't think it will. Why was I hoping this? Because I just dread having to go out and meet people just to have sex with them. I am scared of it.
This guy I knew through a friend and so I knew he was not a psycho. He is very free spirited and hippie like so he doesn't want any strings or expectations. I guess I shouldn't have expected sex there. I just liked how easy it was and how comfortable I was with him (after 2 drinks). But that was it.
I did get a little attached but it was due to me finally having sex after a year... I wanted to do it all the time now. I was not falling for him, he was not romantic it was just sex.
I was late for my period, 3 days, and I am usually on time. For a moment I worried, OMG can I be pregnant? We used protection so I wasn't really too worried. He would have told me if the condom had broken or not.
But that made me think. How about if I do get pregnant? It happens, even with protection. Do I tell my husband? Do I get rid of it quietly?
Yes, there are a lot of things we have to work out on. Especially me. I just hope I find a way to live with all this.
As for me being in an open marriage and maybe not poly, and you guys welcoming me here, I thank you very much. I have looked all around for support groups and this is the one closest to me that I could find. I do not have anyone else to confide in.