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Old 01-21-2013, 04:27 AM
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Helo Helo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 279

Originally Posted by Josie View Post
I have to say, I also completely disagree that monogamy is 'claptrap' or entirely about ownership.
To be precise, I never claimed monogamy was claptrap or "entirely" about ownership. I said it was based on the concept of ownership.

Me and my primary were talking about this today, in a way.
He asked if I'd ever 'go back' to monogamy if I weren't with my current partners.
And was quite incredulous when I said yes. I could be equally happy in a monogamous relationship or a poly relationship. For me, if love is infinite, does it really matter how many people I give it to? Whether it's one or 10, I don't think the number makes it any better or worse.
I would agree

As far as one person being responsible for physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual needs. That isn't how all monogamous relationships are. To they tend to involve relying on one person for physical/sexual needs, yes, but spiritual, emotional? You don't have to be in a romantic relationship to get that from someone. Sure, it's nice, but even when I've been single, my emotional and spiritual needs can be met.
There is some disagreement on that point.

I've never been in a relationship were I have felt 'owned' in any way whatsoever, I have always been free to be myself and feel what I feel in all of my past monogamous relationships. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with just one person, in fact, in many ways, it can be beautiful, just like being able to love more than one person is.
I'm very happy for you and I dont disagree.

The fact that my cherished and wonderful past relationships apparently leaves a bad taste in your (Helo) mouth, is something I find a little insulting.
I should have been clearer; the understanding that monogamy is based on ownership leaves a bad taste in my mouth, not the fact that there are many people who are happy in spite of that.
I am as direct as a T-Rex with 'roid rage and about as subtle. It isn't intended to cause upset, I just prefer to talk plain. There are plenty of other people here who do the nice, polite thing much better than I can. I'm what you'd call a "problem dinner guest."
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