Generally, one would contact the spouse to confirm that someone is poly and everything is above board -- BEFORE getting involved.
But he sure sounds like a slime bag with how he treated you, so DTMFA.
Oh and...when he came over last night, did you give him what he wanted or ask him to leave? If you just let him fuck you, well then... I hope that, from now on, you work on building some self-esteem, creating personal boundaries, and standing up for yourself. Consider this a learning experience and move on.
Last edited by nycindie; 01-21-2013 at 02:23 AM.