means you're good... more than good
The fact that you recognize another great person, their strengths & weaknesses is what makes you so great! That you want to follow your heart in every way possible but also don't want to hurt anyone else is what makes you special and I would imagine is what both your gf & wife find attractive about you.
I so get that its tough!!! After a particular tough conversation with my husband when he was at a very low point I thought I'd Never get the time I felt I needed with my bf (other husband/primary really): I had those thoughts I'll have to go back to "my husband not knowing".... But after a day or two after that really low point conversation and asking my husband if he'd ever be ok with this: HE (my husband) set an "end date": a date to when I could start to spend a couple nights a week with my bf and we could move this open vee relationship to where I felt I needed it to be.
It's so hard when you crave for, long for, think every waking moment of that other new fun person you want to spend every mooment with....
And we also love our spouses and want them to feel loved as well. I'm so glad you understand and want him to feel comfortable and loved; you both/all deserve it! And with that attitude I have all the faith in all of you, you'll make it work and all wind up happier and healthier for it!
Health & Happiness,