I have to say, I also completely disagree that monogamy is 'claptrap' or entirely about ownership.
Me and my primary were talking about this today, in a way.
He asked if I'd ever 'go back' to monogamy if I weren't with my current partners.
And was quite incredulous when I said yes. I could be equally happy in a monogamous relationship or a poly relationship. For me, if love is infinite, does it really matter how many people I give it to? Whether it's one or 10, I don't think the number makes it any better or worse.
As far as one person being responsible for physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual needs. That isn't how all monogamous relationships are. To they tend to involve relying on one person for physical/sexual needs, yes, but spiritual, emotional? You don't have to be in a romantic relationship to get that from someone. Sure, it's nice, but even when I've been single, my emotional and spiritual needs can be met.
I've never been in a relationship were I have felt 'owned' in any way whatsoever, I have always been free to be myself and feel what I feel in all of my past monogamous relationships. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with just one person, in fact, in many ways, it can be beautiful, just like being able to love more than one person is.
The fact that my cherished and wonderful past relationships apparently leaves a bad taste in your (Helo) mouth, is something I find a little insulting.