It's still a bumpy and eye opening ride for me. We fluctuate between being on top of the world to I can't live this way anymore, and we swing on a dime. Both of us feel things are very tenuous - we aren't used to that.
The main issue is that I need a ton of reassurance, but I don't know how to communicate specifically what I need. At one level this is my problem, and I need to bolster my confidence - but at another it is her 'problem' (as my primary partner) to make sure I know I'm primary in her eyes. I'm sure opinions are all over the map as to who owns more of this problem - but we need to figure it out ourselves and we haven't yet. When you hurt it usually feels like the other person's problem...
But the good is wonderful - and I need to keep my head from spiraling into a negative place. How to communicate what I need when it starts to happen.