Originally Posted by GalaGirl
Why is orgasm the goal?
Why is you having an orgasm the only thing that makes the Shared Sex "successful" to him?
I agree, both of you might take a look at your assumptions regarding what is a functional romantic life. One of the benefits of a non-traditional relationship is that no one person is responsible for all of our romantic desires/needs. We also have the ability to be reasonable about the fluctuations our relationship might go through over time.
It sounds like your husband is in a bit of a rut; it happens. The first thing he will want to do is get over (entirely) his insistence on your orgasm and wetness. It doesn't matter if you "always used to" orgasm with him or not, because that is not the way it is now. Sex should be enjoyed and shared, if it's work then you are officially doing it wrong. One great way to scare off an orgasm is to be overly concerned about its arrival. I say, stop worrying about what you don't have and work with what you do have.
Independent (Anarchist) Polyamory
IV: my girlfriend / CV: IVs boyfriend of many years / PT: IVs boyfriend, long distance
IV, CV and I live together. None of us have any dependent children