Thanks, GalaGirl. I so wish I was better at walking away from bad poly situations such as this one. I tend to hang in there and try to make things work because once I love someone, I always do feel completely committed to them even if we've never talked about it.
I find it so ironic that J. worried that I wasn't committed to him, even as late as this past weekend. As I've said to my husband a number of times even before all this happened, J. may be the most clueless MIT grad ever.
I called a very smart friend of mine, who also knows J. and C. a little, during the six hours or so I felt awful about what happened, and updated her on what happened. She tends to be like me, she is willing to go the distance to make her relationships work. She told me she would have "run for her life" if the wife of a partner accused her of breaking into her husband's email account and forging messages in his name. She's right. There is no way to coexist in a relationship with a paranoid, unbalanced metamour who has primary status.
Moving forward feels good!
Last edited by persephone; 01-18-2013 at 09:25 PM.