Welcome to our forum.
Sorry to hear about the roadblocking your wife has been doing. You'll have to have a sit-down with her sometime and try to explain to her how you're feeling without being accusatory about it. If you could find a poly-friendly couples counselor in your area, that might be worth looking into. Something is sparking your wife's jealousy issues, and we don't yet know what that is.
It's tough finding someone who will associate with a poly guy (like you and me
). Do you have any local poly groups in your area? Try googling "New Jersey polyamory" and see if anything turns up. Maybe if you and your wife could go together to attend poly meet-ups, her stance would improve on the situation.
I hope you will be able to find the help you're looking for here. Spend some time exploring our various threads, and post any thoughts or questions you may have.
Glad to have you aboard.