Drinking as an excuse?
I will start off by stating that my girlfriend (I'll call her Anne) are in a polyamorous relationship. When we first discussed, we set a few rules to follow, one of which is asking permission before doing anything, just to make sure we're okay with it.
Her and I went to a party with a few friends, and the alcohol was flowing like a rushing river, so everyone was pretty inebriated. I should note that she is attracted to one of our mutual friends (I'll call him Don). I told her that if something happened, I'd be fine with it, as long as she let me know.
Anywho, I met this one girl (I will call her Suzie) who was quite attractive. I asked Anne on two different occasions that if something did happen with Suzie, if it would be alright. She agreed. The next day, I told her that something happened, but nothing more than a make out session. She thanked me for my honesty regarding that matter.
Two days pass, and I get an "I forgot to tell you" message from Anne saying that something did happen between her and Don. She stated that both of them drank a decent amount, and went for a walk. According to her, she "didn't anticipate anything, and things went from there. If she had known, she would have asked."
I know that I said that if something happened between Anne and Don, that I wouldn't mind, but it would have been nice to get an FYI.
Would anyone excuse the fact by saying they had a lot to drink? Also, did I put myself in a situation where she would assume that it would be alright? Maybe I'm just too paranoid or over protective, but I just feel a little down about this entire situation. Don is like a brother to me, and Anne has been my girlfriend for over 7 years... It hurts because I sense there may be some trust issues between me, and one of the other parties.