View Single Post
Old 01-17-2013, 04:44 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 9,875

Lilyankh, maybe you could ask yourself what, specifically makes sex with your husband so boring? Then try to do the opposite.

For example, you mentioned your thoughts about his personality and he sounds like more of a gentle, loving yet somewhat dependent person. So, maybe you want him to be more assertive, aggressive. Ask him to dominate you, tear your clothes off, handcuff you, take you more forcefully, etc.

Or if it is very specific techniques that bore you, read up on new things to do. If you always wind up in the same old position, change it up, change the room. If it's always missionary with the lights off, then do it against the wall in the dining room in the middle of the day. Tell him you want him to surprise you with something you've never done before at least once a week. Let him know you want him to be creative. Take him to a sex toy store and get ideas.

If it's a personality thing, then what would make your husband more interesting to you? So often we take for granted that the people in our lives are who they are and never change. But that is impossible - we are all a little bit new every single day. Maybe he has secret desires, untapped talents, that you could encourage him to explore and share with you. Take a fun class together, find a new hobby or social circle together, let him take over some of the things he depends on you for, and try to see him in a new light. I think the last part is most important - it's so easy to say someone else is boring, but how much are we really willing to see that person for all of who they are and not just the everyday role they play in our life? How much is it you taking him for granted and expecting him to be predictable, which might set in motion a self-fulfilling prophecy? Maybe you need to get to know him better!

Just afew ideas for you... hope you find some inspiration.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 01-17-2013 at 04:48 AM.
Reply With Quote