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Old 01-17-2013, 12:42 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
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When my husband and I were first dating, we didn't have sex for at least 6 weeks into our relationship, even though he basically never moved out after our first date. We knew it was a different and special relationship right off the bat, and we wanted to deliberately take it slow. When we did have sex, it was unplanned, i.e. we knew we wanted to wait, we waited a long time, and we didn't discuss "ok, this is the night we're going to have sex." We just did it when it felt right. And we didn't use protection.

We had certainly discussed sex plenty before doing it. We had both been recently tested (we didn't demand paperwork because we trusted one another), we were both using protection with everyone else. But we didn't even discuss whether we would use condoms or not.

That was SO weird for me. I had always been so obsessed with condoms. Not using a condom was practically unheard of in my sexual vocabulary. So what was even weirder for me was that I was perfectly fine with it.

Now I'm not recommending this for everyone. Actually, I'm not "recommending" it for anyone. You have to do what feels right for you. We "got lucky" and everything's been fine. We've both been tested recently and everything still checks out. I did have an abnormal pap smear once, which means I may or may not have had HPV. But when 80% of people have had it, and 50% of people have it at any given time, it's not exactly something you can trace back to one specific partner. You can get it with condoms, anyway.

We've never once used the term "fluid bonded" to describe our relationship. I find that term so hokey. I honestly don't see how a latex tube makes any difference in your level of intimacy and commitment. If you think it does, then I believe you have a solid misunderstanding of intimacy and commitment. But that's my opinion and I digress.

For us, it was mostly that he didn't like wearing condoms (I hear that's pretty common with men) and neither of us felt that our safety was in jeopardy by not using them.

We do have an agreement to use condoms and rubber gloves with any other partners. People don't often think of rubber gloves in terms of "safer sex" but that's just silly. So by the definition of the phrase, I suppose we are "fluid bonded," because we have unprotected sex together but not with others... but I still refuse to describe us as such.
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The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 01-17-2013 at 12:49 AM.
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