Welcome to our forum.
Sounds like you and your wife may have a bit of a disconnect in terms of what you want out of polyamory. She seems to want to date independently, whereas you're wanting to date as a couple.
Perhaps there's some middle ground here? Sometimes you guys could go on separate dates, whereas other times you could date together? Would she agree to that compromise?
Are you running into difficulties trying to find anyone you can date just on your own? Would your wife be okay with it if you did that?
I hope you two can get things worked out. Let us know if we here at Polyamory.com can help.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"