Can you be more specific about what problems and challenges you're facing that you need help and advice in addressing?
There are lots of threads here for people who are secondaries in a triad and how they navigated those waters. It will be different for everyone of course, but you might find some things to think about.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."