Again thank you all for your advice. I have passed this all along to H and K. your advice is respected in light of your own experiances. I have even considered group counseling for the three of us.
We are back home, and brought K back some gifts, both H and I had independantly purchesed one for her, H with out prompting from me (there may be hope). H and K are going to have a serious sitdown and we will see where we all are after that.