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Old 01-13-2013, 11:50 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,401

Like others, I don't agree with the male-centric reasons why monogamy doesn't work.

Actually, I also don't agree with the thesis that monogamy flat-out doesn't work. It works quite well for many. Nothing works for everyone, and blanket statements like that are prejudiced. There are lots of marriages that have been very happy and satisfying and faithful. And monogamous.

I've met lots of people on here who have given nonmonogamy a very serious consideration, usually at the urging of their nonmonogamous partner, and come to the conclusion that they really are interested in being with just that one person, regardless of the other opportunities offered to them. Furthermore, there are some who even resent the urging to try nonmonogamy. They don't want it, thank you very much, and they want you to quit shoving it down their throats.

The problem isn't that monogamy doesn't work. What doesn't work is the assumption that everyone is monogamous and the corollary that every relationship should therefore be monogamous.

Suppose for the sake of argument that 50% of people are non-monogamous. That means roughly 75% of relationships have at least one non-monogamous person in them, assuming a random distribution of polys and monos into relationships. What a coincidence: that matches the divorce rate.

There are better introductions to nonmonogamy, ones that don't focus on one specific solution. Of course, I can't find any, but I know they're out there. But in my searching, I came across this piece of barf. I stopped reading at "It’s a book that takes you step-by-step on how to take any woman you care about and create an open relationship with her that lasts a long time." Oh, by the way, this book is written for men. So right off the bat, it's heteronormative. But she calls herself "Blackdragon" which I guess is supposed to sound all hip and progressive. Excuse me while I empty my stomach contents all over your thesis.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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