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Old 01-13-2013, 10:04 PM
Vinccenzo Vinccenzo is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 373

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I don't understand what you mean by "on par" with sexual orientation. Can you explain?

I am poly, but that doesn't mean I "need" multiple partners, any more than a mono person "needs" any partner at all. It simply means I have the capacity to maintain multiple romantic relationships and that I need to be allowed to pursue that. Mono means not having that capacity.

The Declaration of Independence doesn't guarantee happiness, it only guarantee the right to pursue happiness. That doesn't mean you'll catch it.
Sure, I'll try.
We are speaking of someone who is entirely homosexual rather than somewhere in between on the Kinsey Scale. While a homosexual person is a homosexual person whether they are having sex or not, they do need their sexual partner to be of their own gender to be fulfilled in having that sex. If you stick to strictly love of the romantic variety they will have romantic love for someone of their own gender. Trying to do otherwise is unsavory to them and can even scar them emotionally.

Same set up for a heterosexual only with the opposite gender.

Someone who feels compelled to have many sexual partners doesn't need to have sex only in a group sex situation. Having sex with only one person at a time will not be emotionally scarring for them. Someone who is capable of having many romantic loves doesn't need every romantic relationship to consist of them and another twosome, threesome etc for them to feel love at all. They may want another person to love also but it won't scar them emotionally to have a romantic love with only one person. It just means if they love ONE person and another person they are compatible with comes along wanting the same, they can do so without a loss of love for the first person.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I'm assuming you were not adopted. I've yet to meet an adopted person who does not feel some kind of abandonment issues. It doesn't seem to matter if the adoptive family is wonderful, loving, caring, and compassionate. There's always that feeling of "what would my life be like if I wasn't adopted?"

My husband was adopted. His adoptive sister never forgave him for it. She was not adequately prepared by the adoptive parents; suddenly, there was just this new baby in the house. She never considered him part of the family.
I was not adopted or raised in an institution for orphans yet have abandonment issues anyway. Go figure. I guess that means people can wistfully wonder about how their life would be about anything they don't have that someone else did have? Rejection is something we will all face at some point and it can wound us without having anything to do with biological ties.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I would argue that paternity is also medically relevant. The complications of many inheritable diseases can be prevented with early detection through tests triggered by a family history. If your Dad isn't your biological dad, and you don't know it, you might not think to check.
If this were an always situation rather than a case specific situation adoption would not be possible. When it comes to medical issues it surely can help to know your genetic background and how it contributes but unless a disease presents, not being raised by your bio ties will not complicate their ability to do the job.
And we're not talking about the deceit of making a man and a child believe they are biologically tied when they are not. That is a whole different screwed up scenario. The mother will know her family medical history and she may know that of the real father to have the forethought to have certain conditions tested. A father in the dark about paternity could do the same and at least discover he isn't the father. But if he does discover the kid isn't biologically his, it would be his priorities and attitude that would make him unable to continue to be that kids father, not the lack of genetic material shared between them.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
But I agree that no child is illegitimate and that it's wrong for any parent to treat them as such.

My mom was an "accident." They already had 6 kids and they didn't want 7. My grandma never let her forget it. Her oldest sister was conceived out of wedlock, and likewise was seen as the reason that my grandma was alienated from her own family. But the two boys born 2nd and 3rd could do no wrong. Not cool, Grandma. Not cool.
And she was probably genetically tied to your mom yet failed spectacularly at the job of being a grandmother. Capability is not reserved to the genetic realm the way orientation is.
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