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Old 01-13-2013, 07:36 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,213

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
And SC, what was yours about? I ask because I have thought about starting a group in NYC but only because the big, popular, existing poly group that meets here is too kink-focused for me. And I know that others have felt that way but I'm not sure what sort of things to organize for a non-kink or non-sex-focused group. And I am wondering if there would be enough interest if I started one with a specific focus or activity to it. Not sure if my post is making sense.
Our group was 100% about nothing. I think that was the problem. I always wanted a discussion group, but everyone else was there to talk about knitting and their cats. At least, that's why I lost interest. I had the same problem with the local kink group, actually, which is why I quit going to that. I can socialize with my friends any time, and these people weren't actually my friends. I'm extremely selective about whom I form friendships with. It always seems like the kinds of people I "should" be friends with (i.e. shared political views, shared activity interests) don't have that je ne sais quoi that makes me actually enjoy your company.

Sooo... long way to say, I recommend having a focus, whatever it is, and being comfortable and up to the task of keeping everyone on topic.

If you know of people who are poly and would like to be in a group that's not kink-based, I would approach them and ask what kinds of things they would like in a group. Start there and then publicize. Make sure you emphasize that the group is new and that you want it to grow with its members to be whatever they want from it.

I'm now part of our city's bi group, run through the local gender & sexuality equality centre. It meets every 2 weeks. At each meeting, the group decides what we'll do next week. It's also mirrored on a fb group, where people can find out about it, find out what the next meeting will be about, etc. Most times we do something social, like board games, movie, or bowling night. Once in a while someone will suggest a discussion night and then we think about a topic and announce it ahead of time on the fb group so people can think about it before they come.

I like the format of NovemberRain's group. It meets everyone's needs: discussion and social. Another option would be a bi-weekly meeting where you alternate between discussion and social meetings. It's times like this I wish I lived in a bigger city...

I'm sorry I missed it, but I was told there was a huge explosive argument about poly at the first bi group. They were doing an anonymous "question hat" type thing. One guy had just spent the last hour going on about how much he hates being judged for being bisexual. Then someone read a question, "what do you think about open relationships?" Apparently the same guy just lost it. On and on about how hurtful and wrong it is to want an open relationship, how people in open relationships are cheating on their partners, how open relationships are blasphemous... judge judge judge. Oh, the irony.
I don't need labels to define me. They're sticky and I hate the glue they leave behind.
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