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Old 01-13-2013, 07:35 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,240

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I think it's worth mentioning that not all women in religious polygamy are oppressed, either. Sure, they may have chosen a different path if they'd grown up in a different environment. The same can be said of anyone, can it not? But there are women out there who really do enjoy the "sister wife" arrangement, and prefer stereotypical women's roles and men's roles. I think it's just as oppressive to tell these women "You're not allowed to choose your marriage arrangement and let your husband make all your decisions."

I wasn't born yet, but I've been told that during the beginning of the women's movement, a lot of stay-at-home-moms were frowned upon by "feminists" because they were perpetuating women's roles and oppression. That cannot be further from the truth. Feminism means women have the right to choose how they live their life. If they choose to be a home-maker, with dinner ready at 6 and the kids cleaned and letting hubby make all the financial decisions for the family, and they can find a husband who's on board with all of that, then more power to them.

Now, 14-year-old girls being forced to become 6th wife to 55-year-old men? Obviously a different story.
To be quite clear - I do not disagree with you at all. BUT when I see a situation that fits a "religious polygamy" model my gut instinct is to MAKE SURE that the women have, in fact, chosen this for THEMSELVES. The same with women who choose to stay home and take care of kids/home/etc.

I'm just saying that, historically, women have not always been "given" that choice - it was made for them. So when I see a model where there could be coercion - I question it. I'm not questioning THEIR choice, I question whether it WAS a choice.

For the record: My husband chooses to stay home, take care of the house, shop and make dinner and let me make all of the financial decisions. Nobody, or very few, would think that he does this through anything but his own choosing - because there is not the historical precedent of forcing men into that "role".

Humanism means that people have a right to choose how to live their lives.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (22+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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