Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
I just need to mention that "intimacy" is not the same thing as "sex."
Is it "sex" that you need, or "intimacy?"
Every romantic relationship needs intimacy. That can take many forms: cuddling, eating cake together and smearing icing on his nose, interlocking arms while you walk from the car to the grocery store, holding hands while you watch tv, sitting down and talking about your feelings...
At first I just lost sex but over the years I lost some intimacy. If it is anything that is done in the bedroom, sorry to say I have lost it. Hot tub, massage, touch, kissing, even fellatio, sex. I used to get naked and wait till he was asleep so I could snuggle. I purchased several fucking machines and accepted that this was my sex. It took 3 months to manufacture, before it even got here I knew it would not cut it. Then realized I needed the intimacy that came with it. I must engage all the senses in the bedroom.
A therapist said I had a neat little packaged life for H and said he had no reason to change cuz I asked for sex quarterly/less. She set out to "rock the boat" with assignments to do at home. My H dug his heels in and I lost a great deal of intimacy at that point. Hey, how do you know what will come of it unless you try everything. I have much to learn and I guess I came here and saw ppl rocking the boat but I need balance. Financially I am fine, no kids of my own. I could do a lot of boat rocking but I have to get my courage up again. I am not sure at what point my behaviour becomes abusive to my love.
Intimacy outside the bedroom is still mostly intact until recently.