I've realised something recently. I'm really bad at being casual. That applies to all sorts of relationships. When I meet a new person that I'd like to become friends with, I usually get quite close to them quite quickly (if they let me), because I don't really enjoy the in-between stage of being an acquaintance but not yet a friend. I guess the same applies to romantic relationships and sex. I have actually never had sex with someone I didn't have a crush on, either before the sex or soon after it. I've been thinking a lot about FWB relationships lately and whether I would be up for it again, since Bob was my first that kind of a friend. I guess it would depend on the person. I don't like it when I feel like I can't tell someone what I feel, no matter what the relationship status is. With Bob I sometimes felt like some of the stuff I said or did was just too much for him to handle and that in turn made me feel like I should behave differently instead of being myself. I don't want to feel like that again if I can avoid it. If I ever end up in a FWB situation again, I want it to be with someone who can handle me and my emotions like they are. Someone who understands that even if I have feelings for them, it doesn't necessarily mean that I want a romantic relationship. Someone who is capable of talking about their own emotions too and being open about their intentions and thoughts. In other words, a good communicator. I should also keep in mind that if I end up having sex with a friend that I don't have a crush on, it is very likely that I will develop feelings for them after the sex. It's not that feelings are dangerous or anything, I'm perfectly capable of enjoying the feelings without acting on them. But just to remind myself that I am not one of those people who can have sex casually, without it affecting how I feel about the person I have sex with. I sometimes wish I was, but no, it just doesn't work for me.
My live-in partners: rory
My metamour: Lily (rory's partner)