Well. All that enthusiasm. *sigh*
I broke up with CBF on New Year's Day. He spent all day NYE sexting some girl from an online game he's in. I said something snotty (I hoped it was snotty) and he's like 'oh yah, that's Gertrude' (obv not her real name) as if that was supposed to make it okay.
Oh but wait, NR, aren't you poly? Yes, I am poly. He is not. At least not that he ever bothered to mention to me. The agreement was tell me.
When I said 'I can't be your gf anymore' he said, 'okay.' That's it. Okay. Yeup, I can see this relationship was really important to you. URG. blech. vent.
I started my 40 day no-contact on Tuesday. I had a therapist long ago recommend to me to take 40 days without contact at the end of a relationship. It very much protects me from my own break-up insanity. Prevents long angry letters from being delivered (though I still write them). Prevents moon-y 'I-miss-you' letters or drunk dials. Everyone I've done a no-contact with, I'm still friends with. When I asked CBF to move out, I didn't do that, and I very much wish I had. Although, if had, I don't know that I would have found my way back to FBF.
on to better things.
I was a little worried FBF wouldn't be on board with being last-boyfriend-standing.
I think he's fine with it. He worries about me, because he 'can't give me what I need.'
I worry about me. I think if I can remember (and being here on this forum is a HUGE help to me in this) that he gives what he can, and the common view of 'boyfriend' is not what he is, I'll be fine. I love him, I love that he gives what he can, and I love what he gives. I just need to remember that I need much more, and to continue to nurture myself in other ways.
I went to my local poly meetup, and he asked if they were going to throw me out. I asked why, and he said 'you know, only one boyfriend?' And I laughed, and noted to myself that he considers himself mah boyfriend.
We acted like kids trying to hang up from our phone conversation tonight, laughing, and he said 'bye, dear' *swoon*