[JaneQSmythe]

There are no rules, as NYCindie says. What works is what works.

It really depends on the people involved. I live with my husband and my boyfriend. Most of my time is spent with both of them (and most of the time I don't spend with them, they spend together).

I describe my relationship with Dude as being "developing toward co-primary" but I don't spend any less time with him than with MrS. (In my case primary/secondary are "descriptive" rather than "proscriptive" depictions.) Some people are in situations where they may see a secondary (in person) more often than they see a primary (in an LDR)...

I would say that "too little" would be where someone doubts their status as "primary" and "too much" would be where the other person feels that they are getting short-changed...

JaneQ