Thanks GG for the reply - I will certainly keep your post in mind if it comes up again (which I'm sure it will - that kid is SHARP - always pondering...) I'm glad that you agree with my husband that my ("OMG WTF") off-the-cuff answer was vague enough. I have spoken to my sister a few times since then and nothing has come up, so the waters seem still at the moment.
To be perfectly honest, I am proud of the way that my family has accepted Dude into our "inner circle" withOUT needing to define specifically his role. To be fair, this is not terribly different from how MrS got gradually included years ago - when we were living together but not "officially" engaged. In my family, you can speculate to your heart's content in private but making someone who is obviously "important" to someone you care about feel uncomfortable or unwanted is NOT DONE.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe