Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
Cool, that all makes a lot of sense.
And, ha, yeah, I was probably more cautious than warranted when I wrote that. I've seen people be very aggressive in condemning OPPs (I'm not a fan, but I get why they wouldn't cause a problem in a situation like yours) and, conversely, be very defensive about them.
Yes I've notice a very negative view of OPP's. However if both partners are ok with it for their own reasons then it is what it is. Starting with an OPP doesn't mean that it is a permanent part of of a polyship. I tend not to refer to it much on here, because for me it is mostly a non issue, and not something I'm looking to renegotiate.
As a general rule the only opposition I have to Airyn's OPP is the double standardness of it, and that it points to insecurity on his part. I have tried to explain that for me it makes no difference male or female the emotions, the NRE will be the same. He has not changed how he feels and I haven't pushed him about it. Mostly right now I'm just talking with him about what I want, and how he might feel in the moment as different possibilities present themselves. Of course he and I are just now getting to a comfort level where I can do that with him again. there were several months there that these types of discussions would have gone very very poorly.
If nothing else I will not be jumping into anything new quickly or with specific expectations of what the end relationship should look like.