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Old 01-10-2013, 07:48 PM
Numina Numina is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 139

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Wait, Airyn gets you and her, and she only gets him? That's the deal on the table? If she wants what he has, another opposite sex partner, he'll break up with her? I know you didn't ask for input on this, so I'm not sure if I should be commenting, but... freakin' yikes, whatta double standard and an unfair deal that seems to me, especially since it turns out she's *not* bi, so another female partner isn't an option for her. How can he justify having, for himself, twice what she's allowed, and why would she accept that?

Of course, it also relates to the OPP that you and Airyn have. Not just OPP, of course, but one-male-period-policy, including the no-go on the prospect of a NSBF. Again, its your blog and you didn't ask for input on this so it's in no way a discussion we need to have, but I find myself very curious, do you know why he feels this way? Does it bug you? And, you always mention meeting bisexuals (yay bisexuals! I'm one myself, of course )... are you also interested in meeting lesbians, or do you feel they wouldn't be a good match for you as friends or lovers?

Again, feel free to ignore all this.
Annabel it's more complex then I made it out to be. Sure Airyn has a OPP, however Chipmunk is Mono, and if she decides to date other people she will be breaking up with Airyn no matter if he has changed his mind or not. Originally Chipmunk did have the option to date other people male or female. By mid september she told Airyn that she wouldn't date anyone else, saying that she would not let any other man come between the two of them. To that Airyn also agreed not to date anyone else either aside from she and I. So now Airyn is giving her to option to change her mind. She knows he's against the idea of her having a second boyfriend, and he knows that if she decides she wants to date someone else she will break up with him first. Or she will feel she has cheated, and break up with him afterwards. His feelings here don't actually matter in the end. With her truly being mono she may be polyfriendly, but she would not chose to have more then one love herself.

I didn't actually ask about having a NSBF I only talked with him about my imaginings. He expressed his doubts as to that type of relationship actually staying non sexual. I told him it is something that i have been thinking about, and that the idea is nice, but didn't actually ask if he'd be ok with that.

Does Airyn's OPP bother me? Sometimes yes, and sometime no. For one thing it is a double standard, and that part I don't like. I don't like that he is essentially asking me to be OK with exactly what he says he could never be ok with himself. I do know why he feels that way. At least in part, and I know that everything he has said to me about me having a boyfriend I can say right back to him. Well except for his insistance that he suggested this situation so that i could experience the other half of myself for real. Him being hetero he has no interest in men himself so that I can't say that in his direction. Since I have a fellow, and want a women this police really only bothers me on the level that it's an unfair double standard. However if I were to push him I think over time he'd be ok with it. But that's not what I am looking for. Airyn is an amazing lover (when things are working between us). It would be difficult for me to let that go and not compare (perhaps unfairly) someone new to someone who knows how to play my strings and has been doing so for 20 years.

As for lesbians it is possible that I could find someone who only likes women and hit it off great. What I am looking for however are people who understand both parts of me and not just on an academic level like Airyn does. I want to meet more people who feel pulled by either sex. Lesbians are only pulled by women, and are not as likely to understand my interest in men (beyond the academic) since they aren't wired that way.

Annabel I don't mind people asking me question in this blog. If nothing else it makes me think, and suggests where I have been unclear for one reason or another. If I should feel that someone has crossed a line I don't like I'll PM them about it for clarification first. I'm not that easily offended especially by people I have never meet.
Bi-sexual female

Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).

No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.

Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
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