Thank you for posting this quandry as I've combed over this site for the better part of a week trying to find someone going through a similar challenge.
For me it's not so much that I don't love my husband, I know in my mind I love him and I fight to feel it in my heart. It must be also in my heart as he's a really terrific guy and I admire, respect and must love him out of all the years together but as my heart as opened up to another love it's made me face the fact that I haven't been physically/sexually attracted to my husband in many years.
We still have sex and usually once I get going it's nice and he seems to get the connection that guys get from sex and that's what I want for him but I really feel no excited/spark and its been that way for a long time. He's still very attracted to me; makes me feel so guilty and desperately wishing I knew how to fix it! We do have the date nights, it's sorta helping...
IrisA; is it just sexual attraction that's missing too? (Doesn't the discrepancy seem to become more obvious w/ a new amour?) Or is the whole relationship and/or intimacy failing?
I feel for you! So good to know you have supportive friends you're able to turn to and thank you for posting so I know I'm not the only one!