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Old 01-09-2013, 11:44 PM
sparklepop sparklepop is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 467

Originally Posted by IrisAwakened View Post
I am still in the thick of figuring this craziness out, and I have been talking to everyone under the sun the last few weeks, I just couldn't bear telling the whole story all over again to a completely unrelated person...what can I say, I'm lazy!
I understand that! God, I find having to explain it to my secondary partners, who are usually previously-mono single girls a headache after a while... and that's with barely any of the guidelines or heavy talking I go through with a primary ...

Just a little side note...

I used to be a serial monogamist... and I mean Ted Bundy type serial. Not in the murderous sense. ~grins~ But serious overlap of relationships, from one long term love to another. Since I was 16 and started dating, I've only ever been single for about 1 month. Craziness.

But... I realised that it's important sometimes to be alone. When I met my current partner, I was breaking up with my then-girlfriend. I didn't want to rush into a relationship, but ended up falling for GF and becoming poly with her. Strangely enough, I feel kind of single at the moment (ish). I've actually decided not to date anyone outside of her for a while. She's in a different country - so while I'm here, I'm basically celibate. It's been hard but it's actually doing me the world of good - to focus on fulfilling my own needs instead of relying on relationships.

My point with all this waffle is.... perhaps it's a good idea to think about looking after yourself, regardless of other partners, mono or poly. If you do end up going through a separation with your husband, maybe it would be great to just take things as they come, take a break from people (including or excluding your boyfriend).... and I think the answer will come to you naturally over time.

Good luck and please let us know how you get on!
Me: 32f, evolving

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without." ~ Buddha
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