Welcome to our forum.
I'm sure learning about polyamory has helped untie some of the knots in your mind. There are many options, and many possibilities.
I lost someone way back in junior high. They moved to a faraway city, definitely not in my school district. So I relate with you about that.
I hope you'll find Polyamory.com to be a helpful resource, read many threads, and post any thoughts or questions of your own.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"