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Old 01-08-2013, 08:23 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,531

I don't have no attraction to others when I'm in a relationship. I just don't struggle to not act on it if I'm in a monogamous relationship.
So are you monoamorous, in a polyship?

He can't really deal with feeling like Mr. Bad Guy.
He could learn. What is his behavior is he doing that causes him to feel bad?

I'm hearing this as your hard limits:
  • Safe sex and protection rules apply.
  • No vacations with secondaries. Because vacations for just US are few and far between!

Sounds reasonable so far.

I've come to the conclusion that everything is a case by case situation and no list of rules is going to work in all cases.
So perhaps it isn't rules like "you can do this or that," but a personal standard you are trying to articulate? For how you want to be treated?
What is fair in this when we are two different people who already know each relationship is going to be different?
It is not "equal" like golden rule. I want thus, so I'll give you thus too. "Do unto others as you would want others to do unto you."

If I want apple then? Yay. Apple for me, here is apple for you. We're golden right? But wait -- did I check that the other guy even WANTS apple? Maybe he wants orange!

That would be platinum rule. Inquiring what it is they want, need and what their limits are, and then trying to serve them THAT. To me "Fair" is platinum rule. Treat people how THEY want to be treated. Do not assume they want what I want, need what I need, have the limits I have.

Is DH trying to give you apples when you want oranges? Because apples for you since there's apples for him is "fair" to him? Is that where the fuss is happening at?


Last edited by GalaGirl; 01-08-2013 at 08:25 PM.
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