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Old 01-08-2013, 04:29 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,180

You could breathe.
You could breathe.
You could breathe.

You sound like you were emotionally flooded and asked for reassure... implying "reassure me NOW." You did not sound like you set an appt time? You do not write verbatim the HOW of the asking so I am guessing here. Sometimes that matters -- the HOW.

He sounds like he was wiped out from the move and not up for a long thing NOW. He also did not suggest setting appt time or instinctively "there, there" you.
Does he know this is how you want to be treated when having anxiety related emotional flooding?

Perhaps it would have been better received had you presented your request in that way -- with acknowledgement of his tiredness that affects his willing/able to give to you RIGHT NOW.
"I know you are probably wiped out from the move. (acknowledge where he may be at.) I am feeling anxious. I need reassure. Would you be willing to do me a short 5 min "There, there, we will all be ok" thing to me right now to hold me, and then be willing to set a longer time aside to process with me? Maybe Friday from 8 to 10 PM if that is good for you? I do not want to be tiresome but I do need support."
Then you could have gotten some "there there" to hold you to appt time.

And he could have maybe been willing/able to kick in 5 min of reassure, and gotten it on his calendar at a time/space he negotiated with you on for a longer time frame. Rather than bombs from the sky that are not respectful of what his own needs for self TLC may be after a tiring move.

I know it is not easy. I sometimes have emotional flooding myself. But try your best. Today is new, and it's a new opportunity to try handling this again in a way that better serves you both.

So. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Try again.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 01-08-2013 at 08:47 PM.
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