Hey SnC, I only saw your post today or I would've replied sooner. I could see how you get that impression from my post. And I know that BB has potentially more to lose, most importantly his relationship with his Mom more than anyone else. I would never ask anyone to choose me or something i want over their family. This post is just an intro and not a full backstory with the supensful details.
Recently my sister decided to write an autobiography of her life. She only turned 40 recently, but she has had quite an eventful life! Even though the book may not get published or go anywhere I was inspired how she brought up her past pains and the estrangement she has had within our family. Some people are liking how she is coming out completely honest (mostly nonrelatives) and some are not thrilled (mostly relatives).
It isn't just my BB or copying my big sister, there have been events of my life that my family (most importantly my parents) know nothing about. I am seriously contemplating telling things that I thought I would never tell them. Saying that I've slept with my cousin would not the thing to shock them the most or break their hearts. I thought I could at least test out the reaction of my multiple lovers scenario here...maybe more than that. it is still really hard for me to say but for one summer when I was a little kid my neighbor used me a lot for sex. at the time I didn't even know anything bad was going on, it was a game that hurt sometimes. There are other things too. My parents and family think they know me but they do not. Only my Ave and BB know me, everything about me. It sucks more than I can express to bring up hurtful events or unpleasant truths. But I would rather be loved or hated for who I really am than what people think I am.
On a note, I want to be honest with my parents and maybe my siblings. I know my parents appreciate privacy dearly. If I came out out to them right now about BB and possibly other things and told not to speak to anyone about it they would not. I know them, and if told them not to jeapodize my cousin they wouldn't. I could trust my sister to do the opposite and tell everyone...so I dont believe I could ever tell her unless I got B's permission to do so.
Your task is to acknowledge to yourself and others that every part of you has a right to exist.