On the flip side, it might do your husband some good to realize that NRE is a temporary state and that it isn't the end of the world. You seem like you've got a good head on your shoulders and will weather the throes of NRE just fine, especially as compared to somebody who was less conscious of what was going on. I mean, you say that your post really upset him. But what I see in your post is you acknowledging that this is hard on all of you, but that it's making you happy, that you realize you can't have everything you want right away, and that you're actively seeking advice and support to help you make choices that are healthy and well-paced. All of that should be reassuring, I would think. So, what in the post is upsetting?
Is he upset at the thought that you want to hold hands and hang out with your lover? Those seem like pretty innocuous things as compared to the fact that he's, y'know, your lover. Or is that you're happy and excited? Well, if you weren't, this would all be a pretty pointless exercise, wouldn't it?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.