Here's just a thought.....
I think it's a good habit to develop to realize that when we first meet people - what we are often (though not always) meeting is their "carefully constructed public persona".
This "public persona" is constructed in many ways for many reasons, depending on the individuals path they have had to travel through life to this point.
But in this construction is also a component of their own fears & insecurities which they've carefully constructed a shell around to avoid exposing them.
Personally, I don't feel it's important (as) to try to psychoanalyze this persona as it is just to acknowledge that is not likely their true self !
From that point, I try to create an atmosphere where they feel embraced for just who they are -and trusted-which generally allows them to relax and allow pieces of their true self to emerge. Until I see bits of this, I tend to downplay any initial reactions I might feel but never totally dismiss them until I have reason to.
For me at least, I've found that I can connect far better with a wider range of people, and even if I finally reach a point that it's obvious that we can't connect, at least I have a better understanding of why and generally have learned some things about myself in the process.
Maybe this will work for you too