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Old 01-08-2013, 12:35 AM
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Velvet Velvet is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 36

This is quite a thread. Wanted to throw in my two cents. If anyone had asked me what intimacy is, I probably would define the word as sex. But the idea of how I "frame" it in my life is an entirely different story.

Years ago, when my boyfriend Ave and I had our 5 year anniversary of being together, a coworker and friend of his asked me how do we do it. How do we stay in love? I think the way I answered that question is my frame of intimacy. At first, I had no idea how to answer why or how our relationship worked. What made it different from when I had a relationship that parted ways. It took me a week of deep thinking to describe what seemed like the ineffable. My answer was, "Because I want too, and he [Ave] wants too as well."

I would call intimacy with another person, and love for that matter, as a process. Not a static state or a fact. Intimacy by any definition involves more than one person, as far as I know. Only when two (or more) people have each other's well being in mind and are willing to put in effort, and forgive failures and shortcomings, can people experience intimacy. Cooperation and the need to make the close relationship work every day are crucial. Intimacy would end the moment any person decides to stop trying. In the end, "Because I want too, and he wants too too as well", is the best description I have for intimacy. I would agree with many of the different types of intimacy mentioned: physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. just that my own take means every day is another day of continueing your intimacy with another person, or other varients. I have a long distance relationship, we might go days or week without talking. But it is mutual that sometimes there are gaps in time, we both agree to it, we both want to be in love, so our intimate relationship continues. Hope that makes sense.
Your task is to acknowledge to yourself and others that every part of you has a right to exist.

Last edited by Velvet; 01-08-2013 at 12:42 AM. Reason: added to the end
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