Originally Posted by utopiaexploration
I think I have this romantic picture of that every person and relationship should be unique and not possible to arrange in any hierarchy. But what i relly feel dosent fit with that ideology and it makes me feel like a scumbag. Why do I always, automaticly, make this priority-lists in my head? You say that I should sort and label relationships, if i got you right? Maybe thats better then lying a little bit to oneself.
Yeah, I've had to learn that my "shoulds" rarely line up with what "is." I can strive towards certain goals, but reality is reality.
There's no universal "hierarchy is good" or "hierarchy is bad." It's whatever works for the people involved.
I don't think there's anything wrong with prioritizing. Otherwise, it's easy to just fumble around in the dark, or to find yourself doing things just to even the score, and not because it's what you actually want to do.
If you find yourself automatically slipping into hierarchy, and you're trying to be non-hierarchical, it might not be only yourself to whom you're lying. Better for people to know where they stand and what they can expect from you.