Thanks for the thoughtful post, nycindie - very well said. I'm just getting to the point where this is exciting, and it is, well, exciting!
I do want to discuss your point about being complete - because this is something I've thought a lot about - and it's something I imagine a lot of people struggle with.
Originally Posted by nycindie
We are all whole human beings, and if we feel incomplete, no other person can fix that for us. It's an illusion that only can change from the inside.
But how does love and relationships fit in here? Because when one person tries to open up a mono relationship, it is because there is something they need.
I was stuck for a while feeling like M didn't really NEED this, instead she needed to figure out what made her feel incomplete (self-esteem? Career?) and address that.
If we are all complete, then couldn't we all CHOOSE to be monogamous? This is where my mind went, and it was a huge roadblock for me. I wasn't able to move forward until I accepted that this wasn't optional for M.
But to answer my own question - I guess M wasn't letting herself be compete until recently.
Anyway, I know people who are used to mono relationships are reading this - so I'm trying to share my roadblocks. This was a big one.