Originally Posted by lolalondon
Exactly. And I agree - he has to learn to be accountable for his behaviour. But when he did try to be transparent and show her facebook messages, she reacted badly. And the OP also needs to be accountable for her behaviour, and how it triggers him.
He never showed me anything. I saw messages that obviously I should not have seen but beyond them just saying 'L' caused me to wonder if I was being 'played'. Given my (recent) history, it did send me for a spin. It is fair to say it triggered but my emotional safety is as important as his first steps into poly. I'm trying my best and putting in a tremendous amount of effort into us trying to repair. It is time for me to exist in a larger capacity than I do now in his outward life. If I am no longer the 'other' woman, it is time for that to be shown. Hopefully, it all just serves to eventually help us come out the other end stronger.