Okey, maybe it aint the time counted in hours or days thats the problem.
more like the place it take in my mind, not just when the person is in front of me. maybe the question is: how much room does a hart have. how many full-time relationships can it handle?
And why do i engage with more people even thou I already feel that my love life has gone out of proportions?
or maybe I am just scared it will end badly somehow. I feel that i try to put breaks on some feelings because i dont want to make anybody or myself disapointed. maybe its morals from the monogamus socity that screams somewhere inside my head?
sorry if this is confusing, i try to find the up and down in my head as i write.
I also wonder: how much do you tell your partners about other relationships? For me its best just to know that they exists and that everybody keep in mind that VD also exsists.
So I just say that im nonmonogamus, then you dont touch the others fear.
Then everything is fine. But what if we just bump into eachother one sunny day? I use to not chose anybody if more then one lover are present, I rather go home alone then hurt anybody.
It has worked so far, but now i also have relationships with people that say like: ok, i like you and want to be with you, i tolerate that youare nonmonogamus but i wish you were not. - they dont share my view on relationships or lovelife, but are extremly open minded.
I guess i accept they are mono, but rather liked them not to be
But it all starts to get a bit of emotionally complex.
(again. sorry for the english)