For me, the choice starts with how much I have going on in life. Very rarely is someone forced to spend so much time on things; it's a choice.
For example, if you have to work 80 hours a week to feed your family in a developing country, that doesn't leave much time for polyamory, and there's not much you can do about it except apply for emigration to a more prosperous country. But if you choose to work 80 hours a week so you can live in a half-million dollar home, that's another matter.
So first, recognize that you've set up your life to prioritize something other than free time and interpersonal relationships. Next, decide whether you are satisfied with that prioritization. If you are not, then start re-arranging your life so that you have more time to spend with people you love.
Another approach is just to be open with everyone about how much time you have to share with them. For many people, that's perfectly fine: they have their own lives and limited time as well. My girlfriend, for example, is just as busy as I am. We don't see each other all that often, but we cherish the time we have together.
I don't need labels to define me. They're sticky and I hate the glue they leave behind.