SnC: I think we need more information about this "bump." What's the problem? What led up to it? Is it "your" problem or "hers?" i.e. Are you experiencing jealousy? Is she feeling like she's breaking her marriage vows? Or...?
Mag: I'm confused by your response. He doesn't say anything about 3-way sex, nor does he say she "needs" a(nother) man in her life... I'm also not entirely sure it's relevant whether they're a homo or heterosexual couple.
I'm sure his wife "can" pursue relationships without his help... but helping one another is what functional married people do. He has more experience with poly, and she has none, so it's natural that she would look to her spouse for guidance.
I do agree that posting as "we," and "us" finding a partner for "her," is confusing. If your wife needs help navigating these waters, I encourage her to create her own account and share her questions. This forum is anonymous and it can be really helpful to talk things out with objective strangers.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."