Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
When someone does a wrong; they owe an apology AND making of amends.
To ask you to "try again" without those steps being made is ludicrous. It's asinine. It's unreasonable. It's unloving.
If your husband wants to put the past to rest in terms of the affair and ongoing drama this woman brought to your life-
he needs to understand that there are certain steps to making that happen.
1) he apologizes for his wrongs-fully acknowledging his responsibility
2) she apologizes for her wrongs-fully acknowledging her responsibility
3) he makes amends and attempts to repair all damages caused by his wrongs
4) she makes amends and attempts to repair all damages caused by her wrongs
5) he rebuilds trust with you
6) she rebuilds trust with you
Until THAT is done-there isn't any future chance at all. Period.
LR, can you give some examples of "making amends?" I'm having trouble distinguishing that from apologizing or just "not fucking up anymore" but it sounds like you mean more than that...
“As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.” —bisexualbaker