And as for the "I love you's", I don't see that as being an issue, though I understand that it makes you feel insecure. And that is probably because your needs are being ignored at the moment. The love usually flows both ways in poly, at least it does in mine. I tell hubby I love him, and I tell my b/f I love him, all the time. Loving two or more is okay, so long as you respect everyone's needs. Maybe if you felt heard and valued more in your husband's eyes you wouldn't feel threatened as much by the g/f's feelings for him.
I tried being reasonable. I didn't like it. ~Clint Eastwood~