Hi from Oz
Hi, I've been a site visitor here for a long time, but now my wife (Aquarius) and I are exploring polyamory (and possibly swinging as a completely separate interest). We're read-up a bit (Taormino's book on Opening Up, The Ethical Slut, this website and other blogs). So we feel we have some awareness of the poly lifestyles. We've been talking about which poly lifestyles would be right for us for nearly a year now, and now we're taking our first steps.
We wouldn't be doing this if we weren't in a loving, committed and completely honest union. And we know that living this life will be demanding on our time, our energy and will require us to grow as partners to handle issues of jealousy and fear. But every new life-adventure makes emotional demands - the important step is maturing enough at each step in order to take the next one. We're not concerned about the extra work. And we feel this is where we're at now, mature in our thinking, cautious but not fearful, confident yet respectful of others. We're excited about this phase of our lives.
We have children (one is under 12, the older ones are adults). So we're done with making kids. And we don't have any serious stresses (probably not quite true but it doesn't feel like we do!).
We've tossed around ideas about v's, triads and even looking for unicorns but likely we will explore a bit to see which is a good fit for our lives. We know it may be a long journey, but slow and steady is the way to go right?
What we really like about the poly community is the openness of expression and the honesty. These are constant themes that appeal to us, we're just beyond game-playing and deceit, and its good to see so many poly people coming back to these values again and again in the blogs we've read.
I think one question I have, and maybe my wife Aquarius can add to this too, is how trustworthy is the community in general? I guess what I'm asking is how wary should we be of other people's intentions? Is this a community that has more or less then its fair share of those who are here to try to take advantage of other people. Because when you think about it, this is love we're dealing with and we're really putting ourselves out there, a situation that could be unsafe. Any thoughts? Advice?
And lastly, my SO and I are very open with each other, but we're also in a large traditional setting (friends and family) so this is a part of our lives that will only ever be just for us and our partners. How difficult is it to find others when you're not willing to share too many revealing details online (ie not come out of the closet)?
Take the risk of thinking for yourself, much more happiness, truth, beauty, and wisdom will come to you that way. - C. Hitchens
Me: Male, bi, 48, flexible