Falling to Pieces
I wrote my wife a letter that I thought was pretty hopeful and in it I asked a lot of questions so I would better understand where she's at. She wouldn't even read it. She said she's no longer interested in other partners and she wants to be alone. This spawned an argument where I felt like she was pretty much done with our marriage. She told me she almost died (which isn't accurate, but it's how she feels, so I understand) and doesn't know what she wants anymore.
Fast forward to a few days later, my wife and I were talking. I was visibly upset and she asked why. I said I was having trouble processing what she told me about wanting to leave me and be alone. She told me that she had once again changed her mind and wants to stay. I asked her why the change of heart and she told me that it's strictly for our son. I asked if she still loved me and she said yes, but that she isn't sure if she's "in love with me". I was wrecked. I don't usually drink, but I finished a bottle that night. Now, I don't know what to think or do. I want and deserve someone who is madly in love with me, not a roomate with benefits. I am so very sad and I know that this is one of the many possibilities that could have occurred. I just felt so hopeful a week ago and now it's all gone.