What would it take for BB to move closer to you? I'm just curious. Does his immediate family also live quite a ways away? If so, that makes it tricky for you to try to get better acquainted with them.
I don't blame BB for worrying about coming out if his family is very conservative. I hope you can come to an agreement with him about what to do, and stick together in that agreement.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"