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Old 01-03-2013, 04:02 PM
hoveringinlimbo hoveringinlimbo is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Default Poly and surrogate Children?

Hi all!

So, I have a bit of an issue--I'm in my early 30s (and male), and I have a primary partner that is infertile. I also have a secondary partner that is in her late 40s and either in perimenopause or likely to go through it soon.

As you might guess, I am thinking about children. My and I partner are probably unlikely to be able to adopt through normal channels due to various life occurrences in our pasts (though it's theoretically possible too), so the next thought was some sort of surrogacy arrangement. She doesn't care about having a biological child, though I somewhat do (and I'm leery about going through the trouble of IVF or something like that).

And I was thinking that the fact that we have a poly relationship potentially creates some solutions to this problem... so...

Does anyone know of a case of a poly family finding someone to get pregnant for them for the explicit purpose of having a child for another couple?

Does anyone know of any cases where a secondary partner has produced a child for another relationship? (Or had it grow into a stable triad?)

Certainly, there would be some money involved, but how much is appropriate, beyond the health care costs? Are there any resources to go to for an arrangement like this? How do you broach the topic?

Is there another way around all of this that I"m missing? And I'm seriously not downplaying how harsh pregnancy can be, that's some of why I don't even know where to begin. I've only known lesbians finding sperm donors. The other direction is much more complicated.
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