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Old 01-03-2013, 11:57 AM
dust dust is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetSensations View Post
yes to both. I don't want to hurt him on purpose.
The chapter in Ethical Slut about jealousy I think also applies to guilt. You should check it out - it was HUGELY helpful to me. My hurt is my own, and usually what I need is for her to acknowledge it, tell me she loves me and then go about her business. If you try to own his hurt, it will just make it harder for you to do what you need to do.

This is going to hurt for him, and trying to avoid it will only drag it out. I needed to sit with jealousy and hurt for a while and realize that it won't kill me, that I am stronger than either....most of the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetSensations View Post
My fantasy is for him to give me permission and cheer me on.
whew - this is a benchmark for me. I'm far from it right now. Sorry to say it, but I think you are too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetSensations View Post
never woke up again
yup :-/
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetSensations View Post
I read not giving him any info will be worse on him. Another member said when they don't know what is going on they think the worst.
I have no idea what the right balance is for you or for me, but not knowing anything would NOT work for me.

Here are a few:
1. When she gets there and when she leaves - so I don't have to worry about her safety (car wreck or whatever).
2. She often lets me know when she communicates with him. Otherwise I feel that every call and text is with him. (I'm not proud of it, but I can't deny it).
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