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Old 01-03-2013, 08:37 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is online now
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,183

Maybe at this time he could just want to be able to Share Vulnerable with you? And want you try to create emotionally safe space for him by listening without derailing into a wigginz just because he's trying to share? He craves to be understood and be accepted as he tries to understand and accept himself? Could ask him if that is it.

My blog thread mentions that need to be understood on the first page starting with post 6 -- it takes a few posts to cover it. Other people may be able to share their POV but that's my take on my need.

I am glad you talked and you guys are doing better.

But don't agree to things "through gritted teeth" that you are really not cool with. That is not healthy compromise -- a settlement of differences in which each side makes concessions and puts in effort, but nobody is being hurt or unhealthy about how they do it.

Gritted teeth is not sounding healthy to me. It could be compromising yourself -- where you are making concessions that are detrimental to your own healthy well being. Please don't do it like that.

So to me, it seems like this went over well. Should I still be worried about anything, or bring anything up regarding this subject? Or should I just leave well enough alone for the time being?
Could praise him for coming to you to share his vulnerable even tho it got a bit rough. Could congratulate both on making it through. Could encourage him to KEEP coming to you with his stuff, and can always come and just be honest and spit it out. You may not always love what you hear, and may need digestion time to take it all in, but you are always willing to hear it and LISTEN and prefer this.

Focus on what you want more of -- sounds like honest communication is something you prefer so... encourage it!


Last edited by GalaGirl; 01-03-2013 at 08:40 AM.
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